Links
Note: For Vista-related links, go here. For Windows 7 links, go here.
General Computer Information:
Specialty Malware Removal Forums - There are many malware removal
forums. Here are just a few where you can find MS MVPs and other
trained analysts.
ASAP
Member Forums Providing Log Analysis:
Atribune.org
MalwareBytes
SpywareInfo Forum
TechMonkeys
WhatTheTech
Non-ASAP Member Forums Providing Log Analysis:
Aumha.org
BleepingComputer
DSL Reports
Geeks To Go
Safer-Networking
General Information about Viruses, Malware, and Security:
I've written two informational articles about security and staying safe
on the Internet that I often give to clients. You can download them in
.pdf form by right-clicking on the links and choosing "Save Link As".
"Staying Safe or How to Not Have This Happen Again"
"Too Much Security"
Other Tech-Related Sites:
Apple-Related Links:
How
To Find Almost Everything On The Internet: Google
And my very own personal site CountingSpoons which includes
such gems as General
Crankiness, Customer Hall of
Shame, and Miscellaneous Stuff.
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Gen'l. Computer Info.
EBC Reports
A Few
Extras
Here are some trifles for your amusement - Images,
Christmas Messages, Miscellaneous Writings
Images
To download the pictures to your
hard drive, click on the link you
want, then right-click on the picture after it loads and choose "Save
Picture As". There are other, non-Elephant Boy wallpapers on my
personal webpage at www.countingspoons.com.
Christmas Messages
The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2009 (click on the thumbnail to see the full picture):
Happy Holidays!
The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2008 (click on the thumbnail to see the full picture):
The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2007 (click on the thumbnail to see the full picture):
Wishing You Peace, Happiness, and Plenty of Power-Ups In the New Year
The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2006:
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
The Official Elephant Boy Christmas
Card for 2005:
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
Humans
have celebrated the turning of the year for millennia.
Continuing in that great tradition, all of us at Elephant Boy Computers
wish you and your loved ones a most joyous Holiday Season and Happy New
Year
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The
Official Elephant Boy Christmas
Card for
2004:
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
The Official Elephant Boy
Christmas
Letter for 2003:
Dear Friends and Relations,
We've been ever so busy here and haven't had a spare moment to think
about any of you over the past year. We know you understand and
will be grateful to receive this Christmas Letter
instead of individual attention.
In June, Marian
was appointed Official
Computer Tech to several Heads of State. She is proud to
be able to say that she told Romania to
"reboot". She was showered with gifts of cash and apartments in Paris
and New York by grateful governments and is now scheduled to
take her rightful place as Empress of the World
at the first of the year. She promises to remember all the little
people who made this possible.
Gabe has
written three best-selling novels, all of which have been optioned by Very
Famous Movie People so as to make all the books into Major Motion Pictures.
In his spare time he has transformed the Face
of Video Gaming as we know it by his masterful game creations,
particularly the extremely successful "Blood Runner on the
Third Moon".
James
has also not been idle. Although he was very busy writing a new Theory of Egyptian
Hieroglyphics, he made time to invent a Transporter That
Does Not Disrupt The Space-Time Continuum. He is slated to
receive the
Nobel Prize in 2004 and is practising his Swedish.
We hope you have enjoyed basking in our Reflected Glory
and that you have a Happy and Healthy
Holiday Season (but it won't be as good as ours).
Your Friends At
Elephant Boy Computers
Miscellaneous Writings
A Geek's Shopping List by James Routh
Song by James Routh
WinXP of Mordor
Religious File Sharing
Satchel Paige Quote
David Candy Quote
A Geek's Shopping List by James Routh
A note left for me by Himself:
If you go shopping, get:
OJ
Sherbert
12 cans Mountain Dew
Milky Way
Bag of Cool Ranch Doritos
I will use these to create a miniature particle accelerator, make anti-matter and hold the Vatican for ransom.
Love, James
Song
by James Routh
Oh my- Computer- Is- Depressed
And now it won't stop bitching
Oh my- Computer- Is so depressed
My computer- keeps cutting- its mega-bytes.
Oh noehs- Mah megahurtz- Are being- STOLED!
My computer- Won't stop playin'- My Chemical Romance
Oh my computer- Is making me see- The Bleakness of life
Oh my computer- Keeps complaining that its Hard Drive- Is too small
Oh my computer- Wants USB Slots- So it wants a case change
I keep getting- Emails from- FallenGothAngelKitty3853
Oh my computer- Keeps putting- Pirated Movies- On itself
My computer- Is doing- Unprotected Transfers
I'm finding- Games of old- Such as Pac Man- On it
Oh I need- A new computer
Oh My Computer is so depressed
Oh my computer's- Desktop- Keeps on a' changin'
To Green Day- Desktops
I think my computer is on drugs.
Because- My visuals- Keep on Screwing Up
I keep seeing- Green and Unicorns- And Purple Red Elephants on my screen
Maybe- I should get a- Happy Laptop
This is because my computer is a Compaq!
WinXP
of Mordor - From www.slashdot.org
Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we
were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my
PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed
him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw it into my microwave
oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had
become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.'
After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a
close look at it.'To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it
seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything,
but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an
inscription finer than anything I had ever seen before. The inscription
shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:
12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5IOCC98D444AA08EI324.
'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said in a timid voice. 'No
but I can,' he said 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode,but the
language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in
common English this is what it says:
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
It is only two lines from a verse long known in System-lore:
"Three OS's from corporate-kings in their towers of glass,
Seven from valley-lords where orchards used to grow,
Nine from dotcoms doomed to die,
One from the Dark Lord Gates on his dark throne
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie."
Religious File-Sharing -
don't know where I got this from so to the unknown author, please
forgive the lack of attribution.
Judaism, and by proxy Christianity, has always been in favor of
copying. The Pope effectively banned the use of copy protection for all
Catholics! However, there's a strict ban on copies of God himself. To
actually copy a human, however, you must place the media with the
activation seeds into the "drive", and it takes a whopping 9 months
until the copy is actually available - while this does not prevent
"casual copying", it does put a limit on the number of copies that can
be made overall.
Jesus was a big one for sharing as well - I seem to remember dimly the
story about the LAN party with 5000 people where both food and original
CDs were scarce, yet miraculously there was enough to go round for
everybody (Luke 9,10-17).
To take this one step further, copy protection is a tool of Satan to
drive devout Christians into denouncing God and all that is holy. Just
as Jesus gives of his own soylent green fleshwafers and bloodwine, he
has given of himself in the form of downloadable cracks from
gamecopyworld.com.
Satchel
Paige Quote (not computer-related, but a good motto)
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
David Candy Quote - A post he made
in response to a really lame question in microsoft.windowsxp.general:
"You could try 3 frogs' hearts and the blood of a virgin, mix and smear
on the computer while chanting 'work, you bastard'. Or try posting the
error message."
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Happy Holidays!
Wishing You Peace, Happiness, and Plenty of Power-Ups In the New Year
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.
