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Links

Note: For Vista-related links, go here.

General Computer Information:

Aumha.org (Jim Eshelman)	Doug Knox
Michael Stevens	Hans-Georg Michna Problem Solver
Steve Winograd	Microsoft Help & Support
AnandTech	Sandi Hardmeier on IE
Windows XP Troubleshooting	Jupiter Jones
Kelly's Korner XP Tips	Aumha forums
World of Windows Networking	Practically Networked
Tom's Hardware	Tom Koch (info on Outlook Express)
DriveSavers (data recovery wizards)	EventID (for Event Errors)
Pacman's Portal	PC Guide
Rick Rogers	Windows Startup List
Answers That Work	MVPS
Microsoft Home Page	LabMice
EZLAN for networking information	The Elder Geek
IT Pro Security Zone	Microsoft TechNet
Bleeping Computer	ComputerHaven (a very caring place)

Viruses, Hoaxes, Malware and Security Information:

Symantec Antivirus Research Center	McAfee Antivirus
TrendMicro HouseCall	Panda Antivirus
Sophos Antivirus	AVG Antivirus (Grisoft)
F-Prot Antivirus	Avast
NOD32	DOD-CERT
Ad-aware	Spybot Search & Destroy
Security Focus	SpywareInfo
Siljaline's Antiparasite Updates (props!)	Zone-H
Computer Associates	List of Antivirus Software Vendors
Dealing with Unwanted Spyware	Aumha forums
Spyware Guide	Eric Howes Rogue Antispyware Guide
Richard Harper's Clean-up	Sunbelt Blog
Kaspersky Antivirus	Benjamin Edelman
Bruce Schneier	Counterpane
CastleCops	Ewido
Practicing Safe Hex	IK-CS.com
How Did I Get Infected Anyway?	Protect Your PC
Get Safe Online (excellent for families)	10 Immutable Laws of Security
Home Computer Security	Home PC Firewall Guide
MySecureCyberspace.com	GetNetWise.org

Other Tech-Related Sites of Interest:

Gizmodo	Groklaw
kuro5hin	Slashdot
Techdirt	Use the Source
NewsForge	OpenSUSE
The Register	Gamespot
Ars Technica	FilePlanet
Chris DiBona	Joi Ito
Firefox & Thunderbird	Opera browser
Apple	O'Reilly Radar
LifeHacker	MS TechNet Blogs
eWeek	OldVersion.com

How To Find Almost Everything On The Internet: Google

And my very own personal site CountingSpoons which includes such gems as General Crankiness, Customer Hall of Shame, and Miscellaneous Stuff.

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Home

Home Gen'l. Computer Info. EBC Reports

A Few Extras

Here are some trifles for your amusement - Images, Christmas Messages, Miscellaneous Writings

Images

To download the pictures to your hard drive, click on the link you want, then right-click on the picture after it loads and choose "Save Picture As". There are other, non-Elephant Boy wallpapers on my personal webpage at www.countingspoons.com.

A mysterious message from the Elephant Boy

Egypt

Large version Small version

A strange picture of the Elephant Boy

neon Elephant Boy

Smallish

Who is the Elephant Boy really?

Full picture

Christmas Messages

The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2007 (click on the thumbnail to see the full picture):

Wishing You Peace, Happiness, and Plenty of Power-Ups In the New Year

The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2006:

Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.

The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Card for 2005:

   Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.

   Humans have celebrated the turning of the year for millennia.
   Continuing in that great tradition, all of us at Elephant Boy Computers
   wish you and your loved ones a most joyous Holiday Season and Happy New Year

Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.

The Official Elephant Boy Christmas Letter for 2003:
ebc_xmas

Dear Friends and Relations,

We've been ever so busy here and haven't had a spare moment to think about any of you over the past year. We know you understand and will be grateful to receive this Christmas Letter instead of individual attention.

In June, Marian was appointed Official Computer Tech to several Heads of State. She is proud to be able to say that she told Romania to "reboot". She was showered with gifts of cash and apartments in Paris and New York by grateful governments and is now scheduled to take her rightful place as Empress of the World at the first of the year. She promises to remember all the little people who made this possible.

Gabe has written three best-selling novels, all of which have been optioned by Very Famous Movie People so as to make all the books into Major Motion Pictures. In his spare time he has transformed the Face of Video Gaming as we know it by his masterful game creations, particularly the extremely successful "Blood Runner on the Third Moon".

James has also not been idle. Although he was very busy writing a new Theory of Egyptian Hieroglyphics, he made time to invent a Transporter That Does Not Disrupt The Space-Time Continuum. He is slated to receive the Nobel Prize in 2004 and is practising his Swedish.

We hope you have enjoyed basking in our Reflected Glory and that you have a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season (but it won't be as good as ours).

Your Friends At Elephant Boy Computers

Miscellaneous Writings

Song by James Routh
WinXP of Mordor
Religious File Sharing
Satchel Paige Quote
David Candy Quote

Song by James Routh

Oh my- Computer- Is- Depressed
And now it won't stop bitching
Oh my- Computer- Is so depressed
My computer- keeps cutting- its mega-bytes.
Oh noehs- Mah megahurtz- Are being- STOLED!

My computer- Won't stop playin'- My Chemical Romance
Oh my computer- Is making me see- The Bleakness of life
Oh my computer- Keeps complaining that its Hard Drive- Is too small
Oh my computer- Wants USB Slots- So it wants a case change

I keep getting- Emails from- FallenGothAngelKitty3853
Oh my computer- Keeps putting- Pirated Movies- On itself
My computer- Is doing- Unprotected Transfers
I'm finding- Games of old- Such as Pac Man- On it
Oh I need- A new computer

Oh My Computer is so depressed
Oh my computer's- Desktop- Keeps on a' changin'
To Green Day- Desktops
I think my computer is on drugs.
Because- My visuals- Keep on Screwing Up
I keep seeing- Green and Unicorns- And Purple Red Elephants on my screen

Maybe- I should get a- Happy Laptop
This is because my computer is a Compaq!

WinXP of Mordor - From www.slashdot.org

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.'To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything I had ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: 12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5IOCC98D444AA08EI324. 'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said in a timid voice. 'No but I can,' he said 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode,but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
It is only two lines from a verse long known in System-lore:
"Three OS's from corporate-kings in their towers of glass,
Seven from valley-lords where orchards used to grow,
Nine from dotcoms doomed to die,
One from the Dark Lord Gates on his dark throne
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie."

Religious File-Sharing - don't know where I got this from so to the unknown author, please forgive the lack of attribution.

Judaism, and by proxy Christianity, has always been in favor of copying. The Pope effectively banned the use of copy protection for all Catholics! However, there's a strict ban on copies of God himself. To actually copy a human, however, you must place the media with the activation seeds into the "drive", and it takes a whopping 9 months until the copy is actually available - while this does not prevent "casual copying", it does put a limit on the number of copies that can be made overall.

Jesus was a big one for sharing as well - I seem to remember dimly the story about the LAN party with 5000 people where both food and original CDs were scarce, yet miraculously there was enough to go round for everybody (Luke 9,10-17).

To take this one step further, copy protection is a tool of Satan to drive devout Christians into denouncing God and all that is holy. Just as Jesus gives of his own soylent green fleshwafers and bloodwine, he has given of himself in the form of downloadable cracks from gamecopyworld.com.

Satchel Paige Quote (not computer-related, but a good motto)

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.

David Candy Quote - A post he made in response to a really lame question in microsoft.windowsxp.general:

"You could try 3 frogs' hearts and the blood of a virgin, mix and smear on the computer while chanting 'work, you bastard'. Or try posting the error message."

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